Monday, November 10, 2014

This is not how I thought it'd be

So...it is Apple's birthday today...and I really don't know what to say...I just know I want to say something which I'm gonna regret tomorrow when I'm my usual self and probably will delete this post...
It's funny how two people who wouldn't stay without talking to each other end up just being people who only texts you on your birthdays...we have nothing to say to each other anymore...I play it cool so does she but I know myself and I miss her everyday...she was my best friend for 9 long years you can't just forget that much time and that many things...I miss how it felt to like someone that much...ever since her I haven't really liked anyone...or shared my personal life with anyone since her...regular readers here know more about me already than most of my friends do and I hang out all day with them...it works just fine that way you know we have fun we laugh we do crazy stuff together...sometimes I wonder whether it's her I miss or just myself, the way I used to be..how good it felt to love someone and having it reciprocated...I definitely don't like her anymore I find her rather irritating maybe because she isn't the person she was when we met maybe neither am I...Infact I want to scream at her for everything that happened...Ted Mosby (How I met your mother) said, "Eventually over time we all become our own doppelgangers" how true is that...I read somewhere..that when we loose a part of ourselves or our identity we have only two options 1. to loose it all completely and be all new self  2.Try to find the part you lost...it stuck with me...that is what I'm trying to do...just being myself again..because if I don't I'm afraid I'll turn into someone like my father I'd hate for that to happen..that's messed up but true...and you know what...this blog here...this has been a great help...It has been all I could hope for...I can say whatever I want to people over the internet I don't know and not worry about being judged...I never thought I'd have regular reader...yes I have some...and there are blogs I actually look forward to read posts from those are the one I usually comment on...but this here is what really makes me happy people actually reading my comics maybe a handful but knowing there's even a single person who is reading that's more than anything I could ask for...going back to that time remembering all what happened mentioning all your old friends it is really weird...remembering all the time you wasted on someone who doesn't even exist anymore....all the things that matters not..teenage drama and all...I wasted major part of my teenage running after Apple and then later half getting over it...but what now..when all is said and done??
I'm half sure what I've been talking about here....and even less sure what I want to achieve with this post but right now at this moment I know I want to write this...I just do.

16 comments:

  1. I feel your pain bro. My former best friend and I still talk, but it's a little less every month... And when I saw him yesterday, it all turned into one big mess. Dang, this post made me want to call him, made me want to go over to his house and tell him how I still feel, even though we've both changed a lot.

    Don't try to be the person you once were. I tried that, but it made me unhappy. Just pick up the pieces of the new you, put them together in any way you like and eventually someone will like the amazing person that you've become ;) That's what I tell myself every morning. I haven't met anyone yet, but I'll be fine one day. You and me both ;)

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    1. I read your post....but I just couldn't figure out what to say...yes we will be :) :)
      Thank you :)

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  2. I'm sorry :( We all go through ups and downs in our lives, and I'm sure you and your best friend can patch up sometimes :)


    Vanshi

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    1. Yes we all do...your comment kind of reminded me of an old hindi song "Jeena Isi ka naam hai" :)
      Thank you

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    2. Aren't old hindi songs the best? :)

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  3. Wow - what an honest post. I don't know the ins and outs, but if you ever want to talk just message me.

    Lizzie's Daily Blog

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  4. Sometimes in order to move on, we have to let go of things... but as you said, the missing factor hurts.
    Don't worry, you'll back right onto track sooner than you think:) at the same time, it's alright to reminiscence the good times you both had together.
    June
    The Journeys of My Beating Heart

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    1. That's the thing I am on my track I just kind of miss her sometimes..that's when things like these happens and I really hate it when this happens -_-

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  5. I know exactly how you feel. It's really tough when there's someone you were close to that you lose, some way or the other, maybe just because you grew apart. I had a friend for ten years, but the last couple of years I was getting annoyed at everything she did, so one day I told her we had grown apart. So we stopped talking. And that is okay, because I didn't want to be her friend anymore, but I still missed her a lot, and missed the days I considered her my best friend.
    And now it's happening again, with another best friend that I have to live without. It's really difficult, and I understand your pain.
    And if you feel like talking to anyone, message me (:

    - Love, Felicia
    ( http://asillygirlsthoughts.weebly.com/)

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    1. Oh trust me we didn't just grew apart you'd be surprised at what happened but I'm gonna keep that for comics -_- :P
      I will if I want someone to talk to thank you,thank you very much :)

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    2. Well, if you keep reading my blog, you'll get my exact story xD

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  6. Tragic man. That's just life I guess?

    To new you! I say. Cheers (y)

    P.S. I don't even know how do you manage to post during exams. Naice.

    Http://this-is-it-sg.blogspot.in

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